Free
by TruKaiba
Summary: Kenshin loves one person but is obliged to marry another.


Free  
  
By Tru_kaiba  
  
Rated: pg Warnings: Yaoi and spoilers. I don't think the Jinchu story arc has been translated to English yet but that's where this takes place and a lot of the information used in this fan fiction belongs to this story arc. I'm not  
sure if some of this is even in any of the anime… I got the info from  
random sites around the web through the yrs.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin or any character in this story.  
  
Categories: Overall and romance.  
  
Summery: Kenshin is in love with one person but obliged to marry another.  
  
Sanosuke POV  
  
I sat, resting on a rock outside the Kamiya dojo disgusted with myself. Kaoru was dead… and I was happy. Kenshin was inside the dojo mourning the death of his "beloved". But it wasn't really her he loved. It was me. I say this not out of lust or longing but out of truth. It was only a night ago that Kenshin had said the same words of love to me. It was only a night ago that I sat on a rock not unlike this as Kenshin confessed his love for me  
not but two or three miles away.  
  
We had been on our way back to the Kamiya dojo and stopped for the night.  
  
"Sanosuke." He had called, approaching me as I stare into the moon.  
  
"Ahh… Kenshin! It's been a while since the last time we camped like this.  
Just you and me."  
  
He smiled softly, taking a seat next to me.  
"Yes, too long. I've been meaning to talk to you in private."  
  
"It's a sad thing when you can't have a private moment with your best  
friend." I told him, his smile widened.  
  
"Ya, I suppose it is, Sano…" a tear falls gently, his eyes now watering  
with a wealth of crystal tears.  
  
"Please, Sano, promise me something," a look of pleading evades his  
graceful features.  
I carefully lift his chin, so as to bring his eyes level with my own.  
  
"Anything."  
  
"No matter what I tell you tonight, never leave me. If you have to, always  
return."  
  
"There is nothing you could tell me that would make me leave you." He sobs  
heavily into my chest.  
  
"Sanosuke, I love you."  
  
I smile at Kenshin, leaning in to kiss him but I am restrained by a hand  
pushing me from him.  
  
"You don't understand, it's not as simple as it should be!" Kenshin tells  
me, still crying.  
  
"What else could there be? I love you and you just told me you loved me! I  
don't care who will resent me, or even hurt me for this! I love you and  
that's all I need to know!"  
A wealth of emotions arises inside of me. I lean in once more but, once  
more, I'm pushed away.  
  
"Please, you have to know. I love you, through everything I'm about to tell  
you, remember, I love you. But I'm going to marry Kaoru."  
  
"Kenshin, Why?" I asked, tears now forming in my own eyes at the sudden  
lose of my new found love.  
  
"Why can't it just be you and me? Kenshin, I want to be with you, only you, forever. I've known you for years now and for as long as I can remember, I've loved you. Now that I know you feel the same…I don't want to give it up! Not yet!" I begin to sob as heavily as Kenshin. It was a pathetic site, two full grown men both sobbing heavily into each others arms. But, at that  
time and place, it didn't matter. All that mattered was keeping alive a  
love that didn't have a chance.  
  
"Sanosuke, I have to…it was my fathers wish!"  
  
"How? How could it be? He didn't even know Kaoru! He was dead long before  
she ever lived!" Instantly, I felt remorse at my choice of words.  
  
Kenshin grimaced in pain in remembrance of his dead parents.  
  
"Before he died, my father made me promise him I'd carry on our blood line.  
Sanosuke, I have to marry! Don't you understand?"  
  
I stood, looking hurt and betrayed, before my lilac eyed angel as he poured out his heart to me. He cared for others, not for his own happiness. But I  
was more selfish than he in believing our love could have ever had a  
chance. There was nothing I could say, I just looked to the ground.  
  
" What kind of honor would I have to uphold if I could not keep a promise  
made to my dieing father? I have to keep this promise. For my honor." I looked into his eyes. Honor was important to Kenshin, I knew this. But I  
could never imagine that he would sacrifice love for honor!  
  
"Kenshin…" I paused, anger building inside of me, but I knew what had to be  
said, "Will this make you happy? To live with Kaoru and carry on your bloodline as your father wished?" If it was for his happiness, I would go  
to all lengths to accept it.  
  
"No, I won't be happy. But it's the only way I'll be at peace with myself."  
  
Gathering control of my emotions, I pull him into my arms, kissing him  
clumsily.  
  
"I understand. No matter what happens, I'll always love you." I told him,  
with the most understanding I could find.  
  
"I'll come back to you, I promise, some day I'll come back."  
  
Touching his lips in anxiety, I kissed him once more pushing him down to  
the ground below.  
  
~  
  
Megumi and Kaoru sit in the Kamiya dojo, sipping tea. Hiko sits with them,  
telling a story of Kenshin's past.  
  
"He was young and foolish when he fled my company in favor of that of the  
imperialists. This is when he became called by the name Battousai and earned a reputation for killing. Kenshin, under the advice of a superior, feigned marriage to a girl he saved known as Yukishiro Tomoe. But this fake marriage turned to true love. Then Iizuka, Kenshin's partner at the time,  
told Kenshin that a man he had killed earlier, named Kiyosato had been  
Tomoe's fiancé."  
  
The women listening gasped at this change in the story.  
  
"But that's not the worst of it. Iizuka then orders Kenshin to kill Tomoe, convincing him she's a spy. As Kenshin returns home to kill Tomoe, Tomoe is approached by a group of men, who her fiancé once worked under, wanting to know Kenshin's weakness. Tomoe lied to them and they attacked Kenshin as he  
comes in. But Tomoe, out of genuine caring for Kenshin, intervenes and steps between the two men's knives. Kenshin, unable to restrain his knife in time, kills Tomoe along with his attacker. As she died, Tomoe picked up the knife used to kill her and completed Kenshin's cross scar. His eternal reminder of mistakes of the past and lost love. Her brother, Enishi, swore  
vengeance and to this day seeks to kill Kenshin."  
  
Kaoru holds a hand to her chest, near crying.  
  
"He… never told me. Such a horrible past."  
  
"He's never told anyone. I only know because I was there." Hiko told her in  
an attempt to comfort her.  
  
"I swear before you tonight that I will do all I can not to die and cause  
Kenshin grief." Kaoru said, bold in her new conviction. A tear trickled down Kaoru's cheek at the thought of Kenshin. She had not seen him in so long. As she made this promise, her eyes had lit up with certain sincerity. Kaoru loved Kenshin; it was clear in her every word to the swordsman. But  
Kenshin's heart was not in the same place. Kenshin's heart was with  
Sanosuke.  
  
"Kaoru, you are no replacement for Tomoe. A love as deep as theirs is not  
so easily replaced." Megumi retorted.  
  
"You would be surprised." Hiko said, causing both women to forget their argument and look at him. Hiko was knowledgeable of Kenshin's feelings for  
Sano, assuming that this love was indeed returned, Hiko also knew that Kenshin's love for Sano ran deeper than his love for either Kaoru or Tomoe.  
He simply smiled at both women and returned to sipping his tea.  
  
~  
  
Sanosuke stood at the top of a hill watching the sun rise knowing that  
today was the end of his love affair with Himura Kenshin, the first and last man he would ever really love. But what he didn't know was that the feeling was mutual. Kenshin as well longed to live in a time that belonged not but to himself and Sano. Sano wanted never to leave Kenshin's side but he didn't know if he could bear living with his beloved married to another.  
  
Sano takes out his pocket knife to carve a trite saying in the trunk of a  
tree.  
  
"If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, it's meant to be."  
  
~  
  
*returning to the Kamiya dojo scene at the beginning of the story*  
  
Kenshin was still sobbing of yet another wasted life when Sano came to  
comfort him. He pulled his smaller frame into his lap, putting his arms  
around Kenshin's still shaking body.  
  
"What will you do now?" Sano whispers, as though speaking to a child.  
  
Kenshin turns to Sano, grinning and crying at the same time. "I don't know weather to be happy or mournful over Kaoru's death. I'm happy because this means more time with you, until I find another to carry on my bloodline. But I'm mournful not just because of her death but because she reminded me  
so much of  
Tomoe."  
  
"Your first love never leaves you, just as your presence will lurk inside  
of me for the remainder of my days."  
  
Kenshin allows himself to fall deeper into Sano.  
  
"Who do you think could have done this?" Sano asks.  
  
"Enishi, he's the only one who would have done something like this."  
  
Kenshin rises from his grasp, "Come, you must be hungry, I'll cook for  
you."  
  
"No, Kenshin, you should have time to grieve. I'll cook."  
  
"Do you even know how to cook? Besides, cooking eases my pain. Please, go find Megumi so that we may give Kaoru a proper burial." He still stutters  
and sobs though trying to cover this up with a façade of happiness.  
  
"So I haven't cooked much before…I've seen you do it! But I'll go find  
Megumi."  
  
Sanosuke leaves to find Megumi, who comes running. Both return to find  
Misao and Aoshii sitting with Kenshin reading from some kind of book.  
Kenshin listens intently as Aoshii reads, pausing to look to Sano and  
Megumi as they enter.  
  
"What is it?" Sano asks, looking from Aoshii to Kenshin.  
  
"Sano," Kenshin says, smiling softly, "This is Tomoe's diary."  
  
Sano and Megumi take a seat to listen to Aoshii's reading.  
  
"Kenshin, do you know what this means? If Enishi really wanted revenge, he would have killed Kaoru in front of you! The dead Kaoru must be a fake!"  
  
All of them rise quickly from their seats, hurrying to the dead body. Aoshii swiftly cuts her open, causing Kenshin to gasp at the disrespect to her dead look-alike. But upon investigation, this body contained no blood or organs but instead electrical wiring. This was no person at all but a  
robot.  
  
"I knew she was a fake!" Aoshii said, still probing robot Kaoru's  
electrical wiring.  
  
"So…this means she's still alive somewhere?" Kenshin asked, certain hope in his voice but a feeling of desperation for his other love growing inside of  
him.  
  
"Still alive…." Sano repeated silently, pondering the meaning he didn't want to exist. Fate had given him more time with Kenshin, but not enough.  
Forever would not have been long enough for Sano.  
  
"Yes, according to everything we know, it would make no sense for her to be  
dead. But where would Enishi take her?" Misao spoke for the first time  
since the initial shock of Kaoru's dead body.  
  
"I don't know." Aoshii informed them, a grave look coming over his face.  
  
Sano stands up, causing the others to focus all attention on him.  
  
"Then it is decided. We will leave tomorrow to find Kaoru. The sun has  
already set and I think we should all go to sleep early so that we are  
rested for the journey tomorrow."  
  
"Sano…" Kenshin whispered, placing a hand on his arm. He knew how hard it will be for Sano to follow him selflessly to search for the women Kenshin  
would soon betray him for.  
  
~  
  
"What…Where am I?" Kaoru asked, but was answered only by a soft wind playing through the small room. She lifted herself to a window to look out at her surroundings. This building resided in a part of the forest she had never seen before. There were no other buildings visible; this must be far  
from the edge of town.  
  
"Ahh…I see your awake." A man to young for his silver hair stood at the  
doorway. He was tall, about a foot taller than Kaoru, and wore glasses.  
  
"What do you want? Why have you brought me here?" I ask, abandoning any  
attempt to be polite.  
  
"Well I guess you deserve to know at least that much. You know Himura  
Kenshin, correct? Or does he still call himself Battousai?"  
  
"This is about Kenshin?"  
  
"Yes, and you are important to him."  
  
"Well, I guess I am. But you wouldn't …kill me would you?" Kaoru asked, panicked at the thought of dieing. It wasn't that she feared dieing, just  
that she feared dieing so soon.  
  
"Oh you don't have to worry about that! He already believes you dead!"  
  
"He…He what?"  
  
"You heard me, he thinks your dead."  
  
"How?"  
  
"Well it's really too complicated to explain but basically I planted a dead robot look alike of you in your home. I designed it because I couldn't kill  
you. I could never kill you. You remind me too much of Tomoe."  
  
"Kenshin's Tomoe?" Kaoru asked.  
  
"Yes, he told you about Tomoe? He has less respect for the dead than I  
thought."  
  
"He didn't tell me. It was someone else, another witness, who told me."  
  
Enishi smiled in remembrance of his older sister before turning to leave  
the room.  
  
"Wait" Kaoru called after him, "Who are you?"  
  
"Strange, I thought you'd know about me. I am Enishi Yukishiro, Tomoe's  
brother."  
  
Hiko had spoken of Enishi; he still wanted revenge on Kenshin for his sister's death. Kaoru knew Kenshin hadn't killed Tomoe purposely and sought  
to explain this to Enishi.  
"But… Kenshin loved Tomoe; he would never have killed her purposely!"  
  
"You don't know that! You weren't there! I was there, I saw my sister die at the hands of that bloodthirsty jackass," yelled Enishi, his eyes set and  
glaring at Kaoru.  
  
"He's not a jackass! Kenshin has a kind heart…He would never kill someone  
he loved!" Kaoru retorted in Kenshin's defense.  
  
"You don't know what he was like! He was a killer then! Don't you understand? I was so close to Tomoe; you don't know how it feels! I have to  
avenge her death!"  
  
"But I do know how you feel! Did you think you were the only person who's ever lost someone close to you? I lost my father years ago. Funny, I came  
after Kenshin in revenge too." Kaoru laughs softly, "But he wasn't the  
person I was looking for!"  
  
"That's a sweet story but, unlike you, I'm sure it was Kenshin! I'm not delusional; I know what I saw." Enishi told her, before leaving the room, slamming the door and locking Kaoru in. Immediately, Kaoru began planning  
her escape.  
  
~  
  
Kenshin POV  
  
I'm not sure if I even want to save Kaoru. Part of me wants to lie here forever in Sano's arms. But that wouldn't be right, letting a friend die  
when I had a chance to save them. Years ago, when I was still an imperialist, I would have let her die just to be with Sano. A lot's changed since then. Tomorrow, I will save Kaoru. But tonight…tonight I'll just lie with Sano looking at a starless sky wishing that I were not faced with such  
a grim decision.  
  
*  
  
"Tomoe? Tomoe, is that you?"  
  
The raven haired girl turned to face Kenshin, her eyes gleaming in the moonlight. She smiled fondly at Kenshin, not saying a word. Tomoe motions for Kenshin to follow as she walks through a forest towards… towards their old house. Tomoe was going to the place where, together, they had feigned  
marriage in attempt to escape their foes.  
  
It was a small house in the forest, far from any village. Unless you knew where it was, the house was impossible to find. And now it came into view. But the house was not as he remembered. It was bigger, taller, and had been  
painted in a shade of green that added to its invisibility in the vast  
forest.  
  
Tomoe entered through double doors and Kenshin followed her deep into the building, to a solitary room at the side of his former home. There, Kaoru rested on a twin bed. Kenshin's instinct was to run to her side and save her from whatever this house had been transformed into. Instead, he walked towards Tomoe, placing a hand on her shoulder. But Kenshin gasped as his  
hand traveled straight through the disappearing woman.  
  
*  
  
When Sano awoke, Kenshin was already sitting at the edge of their futon,  
fully dressed.  
  
"I know where she is." He didn't even turn to look Sano in the eye as he  
said this.  
  
"Then we'll go to her. Where do we need to go?" Sano replied, almost  
disappointed.  
  
"It's not far." Still Kenshin would not look at Sano.  
  
"How do you know she's there?"  
  
"I dreamt of it," he replied, knowing how strange it must have sounded.  
  
"Kenshin…"  
  
"I know it was just a dream but trust me. It's our only sign."  
  
In the depths of his mind, Sano knew he was right. That day Sano went with Kenshin to save Kaoru. For the happiness of his best friend and the love of his life, he had fought off one of three gods alongside Yahiko, Aoshii, and Saitou. Most of all, Kenshin had got what he'd wanted, Kaoru. Sano replayed their reunion through his head, torturing his already massacred heart. What was it she had said? Ahh, yes, "I want to be with Kenshin forever". Sano, himself, had said that to Kenshin not long ago. It all seemed so unfair.  
  
As Kenshin and the others returned to the Kamiya dojo, Sano turned the other way. Kenshin, knowing how much he had hurt Sano, noticed his absence  
and followed him until both were far from the others.  
  
"Kenshin, I know your there."  
  
"Sano…what do you think your doing?" Kenshin asks, still looking to the  
ground.  
  
"Can I kiss you? Just one last time."  
  
"I know this is hard for you-"  
  
Kenshin is interrupted when Sano, impatient for an answer, pulls Kenshin into himself, kissing him for the last time. Pulling away, Sano turns to  
leave his love.  
  
"Wait…Where are you going? Come back with me!"  
  
He smirks at Kenshin, tears streaming from hurt eyes.  
  
"I'm setting you free."  
  
Kenshin could do nothing but watch as the last person he'd ever love walked  
away from him and into the sunset. Somehow, he knew Sano would return  
someday. He had a promise to keep. 


End file.
